Love and Cannabis 0014: Reviewing each other's private episodes

Osiris Stephen and Nina Simmons hosted the previous two episodes by themselves and shared their private thoughts, fears, frustrations and hopes for their special needs son. After listening to each other's individual episodes they are back together to reflect on each other's episode. It's a brutally honest exercise that reveals many issues that were not previously discussed.

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Dan Humiston:
For too many years, families have children with devastating illnesses felt helpless as they watched their child suffer. Today, they're taking matters into their own hands and finally, finding relief. Treating their child with Cannabis. This is one family's story.

Osiris Stephen & Nina Simmons:
Hi. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Love and Cannabis. I am Nina Almost Cyrus and we are the proud parents of a and a everyone.

Osiris Stephen & Nina Simmons:
How are you guys doing out there? Hey, everyone. Yes, we're back together. Yeah.

Osiris Stephen:
Yeah. We had a quick separation. Know how did you guys needed time away from each other? Oh, he's good. Yeah. Do you need a break?

Osiris Stephen:
Always. Just let me just clear my mind. It's time for yourself. Oh, my God. You're so right about that. We really get that, do we?

Nina Simmons:
Very, very rare. Only once a year, if that.

Osiris Stephen:
Yeah. So I have to give appreciation to those who decide to go beyond one child and feel like, hey, um, I'll fill this house with all those little voices.

Nina Simmons:
More power to, you know, a dying one.

Osiris Stephen:
Yeah, exactly. Then you hear your own voice and it's. Oh, my God. I think I'm one bipolar on this.

Osiris Stephen:
But yeah, from my last podcasts, Nina and I basically did our own individual, I guess, expression of thoughts and ideas and things that we were going through our minds and what we felt.

Osiris Stephen:
And one of the things that we wanted to do today is this really just like talk about that to share that experience of being able to express yourself, because we found it really challenging to express ourselves to each other. We've always had the like, how do we put miscommunication? Yes, I say red. She sees purple and is lying. Hold on.

Osiris Stephen:
As we look at the same object and it's just like it's just how our perspectives were on a given day or a given topic.

Nina Simmons:
Zack is like what I say into one of the previous podcasts was that sometimes we feel the stress different times.

Nina Simmons:
One person may be feeling happy and like to have some clarity.

Nina Simmons:
The other person, boom, bam, the stress is hitting them. So that causes, you know, a clash.

Osiris Stephen:
Yeah, that's right. Equals back backward. Like when philosophy class. My first remember my professor is the glass half empty or half full. And they say it was based on perspectives and a view of what you're looking at or what you're experiencing at that time. It's a philosophy. I'm like, OK. I just need a C for the class.

Nina Simmons:
I don't need to get really involved in expectations. Yes, I did have that.

Osiris Stephen:
But see, I always had to get a.

Nina Simmons:
That's OK.

Osiris Stephen:
Well, reflecting on that and realizing like, oh, I get it. Wow.

Osiris Stephen:
Ok, so it comes down to how you're living your life, how you're viewing the world and how you interacting with that world, because, you know, my view of reality is different than yours. And we share we can share the same space, but our experiences are individualized.

Nina Simmons:
Exactly. So sometimes I'm like, is he in reality?

Osiris Stephen:
I gotta be me? And sometimes I'm thinking that you're out of reality is like, where are you going with this? You'll be something as simple, like entities here at least as big like this is like a man running around, you know, tearing things up for you.

Osiris Stephen:
It's like, oh, my guys, as I look at it, he's destroying your place. You're like, he's playing. I'm like, no, he's destroying the place.

Nina Simmons:
He asked if it's all my grandmother on the Haitian side. She was like, there's a. She she was very laid back. She believed that care to just be kids.

Nina Simmons:
So we talked to place. Yeah. So that was it. She is if she had had a blind eye to everything.

Osiris Stephen:
So that's plenty because my mother, on the other hand, was like, no, you're not doing that every Saturday, Sunday, if you want to go outside, you're cleaning. I want to see there's a place cleaned up. It's brooms. You know, the floor swept, furniture wiped down, dishes clean. I might, but I'm seven, seven. You know, you do this and is like is ingrained in you.

Nina Simmons:
Yes. So there's a different perspective. It is.

Osiris Stephen:
I mean, I think that was one of our topics that we talked about. One point where you grew up in a house, you had you know, everybody had their own rooms. They had a separate space for us. We grew up in an apartment. One bedroom apartment is like Bible, like four or five of us in there and any given day and we're like, you know, sharing bed sharing, space sharing draw, it's always not drawers and underwear is some say, like dresser drawers and wherever our clothes go. So there was no individualism there.

Nina Simmons:
He has funny day. Such a small thing. I didn't think that marrying someone who lives group an apartment and in my household we live in a house with was. It's a big deal.

Osiris Stephen:
It is. It is because of how you see things, because you took advantage of all the space you had for us. We didn't have that must be so we had to basically make our lives. Yeah. Yeah. So everything had to be in a structure, had to be in order. And so it's like you would walk into our apartment, you would not know there was five people living in their space is great.

Nina Simmons:
So that for me, I'm like, what's the big deal, you know? So it is definitely if you marry someone that lives in a house and you lived in an apartment and vice versa, you know, that is an issue which is really crazy.

Osiris Stephen:
It could be an issue in a sense, as it's like you're a person who grew up and saying everything has to be organized, everything has to be detail, everything has to be like in a structured way. And if you're not grown up in that, you know, like structured way in a sense, not to say like you didn't have things such, but you draw you locally, address your everything has to be organized, things have to be carefully clean, things have to be wiped out. The things that is almost like you were OCD, you know, passed down three falls. It because it's just a cat, because you sharing this space with so many people, you can't walk into a mess, you just can't walk into anything like, you know, food left out things on a note. Everything has to be picked up. Everything has to be. And the things you would know in our house, all you would know who didn't do what or who did what because it was so small.

Osiris Stephen:
But I think for the most part, it kept us together. But also at times, it made things, you know, very turbulent because we had no space. But what we did have my mother instilled in us was love is to say we love each other, work together, we do things together. We play a lot. So there wasn't that much room for individualism in a sense of being your own individual person, your own character. That happened later on. We were able to actually go outside and, you know, interact with the community itself.

Osiris Stephen:
But my mom was like a stiff iron hand on everyone's is a note, you know, doing as she could be away in a she'll know everything we do. She'll know if we went outside because we grew up in that kind of community where everybody knew who we were.

Osiris Stephen:
Yes. They knew if we went out any, would we put them on it? I mean, this is before cell phones, folks like I'd get home. They like my mother, like. So why were you down the street?

Osiris Stephen:
How did you know that? It was like I got eyes everywhere.

Nina Simmons:
No, I didn't go out like that. You just might need a little. Thanks for that.

Osiris Stephen:
That's crazy.

Osiris Stephen:
But I appreciate that. Looking back at it, I really appreciate it. I mean, like that where everybody looks after your child, everybody looks out and everybody knows everybody and Michelle and you know, but there were things of one of many things.

Osiris Stephen:
I'm one of the many things that we wanted to share is just the fact that we were raised differently. We had different perspective on things. And I think that plays a long way into our relationship as well and how we see each other, how we handle situations. I mean, we could be looking at the same thing, but just had different experiences with that.

Nina Simmons:
Yes, exactly.

Osiris Stephen:
Just going into the fact that, you know, dealing with our son, I would have to be honest and say I was in denial that he was going through some knowing that he is. I can see it. I feel it, but I will. Apartment was like in denial, like, no, this is going to change. This is not going to be forever. We are going to work towards it. And I embrace the idea that doctors, you know, our neurologist said he will grow out of it. That the fact that there was no bleeding on the brain, there was no swelling, there was no lesions, it was nothing to show that, you know, that this was going to be long term.

Osiris Stephen:
And I'm holding onto that moment. I am. I'm holding onto that until the day that it stops. That being said, it hasn't. But yet I'm still holding onto that fact, you know? You tell me. Oh, sorry. This is what's going to happen. This play out and I take you to your word. I hold you to that word and believe it, even to every day, my eyes are still showing me something different. I'm like, no.

Osiris Stephen:
It's when the changes is temporary, and I think that one of the things that we know we use to have an argument over is him wearing a helmet, you know, use a fight over that you like, put the helmet on his own family. No, he's not. He's gonna be fine. I mean, okay with me, you know, he's probably dropped like a couple of times already. I was going to ask you that question. What is it with you with the helmet? To be honest, I think in my mind, the my if I put the helmet on is saying I'm given into the idea that his seizures are not going to stop. You know, something symbolically in that idea that if I put it on, I'm giving into the idea that, you know what, his seizures would never go away except for what it is.

Osiris Stephen:
It wasn't like I'm denying you of saying I want to keep my child safe. I don't want him to hurt himself. For me, it was like he's gonna be all right. I believe the doctor. I believe what she said. He's going to grow out of it. He's just matter a. And I'm thinking in my mind that if I put him in that space, that he's not having seizures, even though years that it was going to start like by not wearing a helmet.

Osiris Stephen:
So I don't know if it was a detachment from reality or as I'm trying to create a different reality by hoping that energy that thought the universe is working with me together and making this happen. It wasn't because of this. He put him to get injured any further. I don't know. To be honest. I don't. It's just that I didn't want to give in to the idea that this situation may not change. I'm being optimistic and being hopeful, but I wanted to create that space for that to happen.

Nina Simmons:
And tenacity is another thing we think very differently in that because I still have hope that things will change. But I see what's going on today. So that change may not come today. The change may come a year from now, two years from now. Some kids have seizures 10 years and then boom, it stops. So I'm very optimistic that, you know, in his case have been these reports with his mutation of his gene that the cases have remission, just like bam. And I'm still hoping for that. But with me with the helmet, I'm like, let's just keep me safe for today. Yesterday and today, like I said, it could still go to a mission.

Nina Simmons:
But let's just keep him safe in the part of me.

Osiris Stephen:
I think looking at him on his helmet is on, but he's not on a bike. He's not on a scooter.

Osiris Stephen:
He just got a helmet on. Why doesn't want to see my son's face. I want to see Chloe's face. I want to see his eyes. I want to see his head. I want to see his air.

Osiris Stephen:
His eyes. I want to see him. I just want to, you know. I just want to see him, I think the sight seeing the helmet was just preventing me from seeing experiencing him at all. Did was remind me that he was having something to eat. He was going through the seizures. It was hard.

Nina Simmons:
I get it, I get it now. It is very hard. You know, it is sort of my dad. He's, you know, has his element. So I get it. I get it.

Osiris Stephen:
But, you know, looking at him and, you know, his smiling face, him running up and down the hall, it's not like we have a big place.

Osiris Stephen:
But he is always finding ways to run and just jump on the couch. It is like, is this kid actually going through something? And that keeps me going. Literally, that keeps me going. Seeing as my face when he wakes up this morning, he wants to like touch a face or he hugs you while you're sleeping.

Osiris Stephen:
He's annoying and like God gives us little reminders that he's doing OK.

Nina Simmons:
Like that. It was like last year when he was in kindergarten the first time. Really? What else? You can read.

Nina Simmons:
He came home and the teachers every day they get kids book back. He's raised all the books and you have to read the books. I'm like, oh, boy, here we go. So I picked up the book and I said, here I go. He read the book. And then I had to videotape it and send it to I.

Nina Simmons:
Indeed, he says he could read it is plenty. He has his birth mom was he is he is funny. He's smart. He has a personality. He's a character in a half. And it's funny.

Osiris Stephen:
One day I think we put on opera just by chance. I was more than this opera and it was on our TV screen. And he said they stood there, not even said he got up and he was mimicking the conductor. Is it? He was conducting an opera. I was like, OK, this kid's an opera. He definitely likes to touch the piano. Keys is one of the things that I'm like, OK, we need to encourage that.

Osiris Stephen:
He wants to touch piano keys. It can't be an electric synthesizer or a piano because then he'll just put a button on and sit back and let it play. But for him, interaction. I think it started when I was like three or four years old. We took him to a music lesson with the piano. The first thing he did was jump on. Mind you, he was still having a seizure, but he wanted to test the keyboards on a piano.

Osiris Stephen:
It was interesting. And watching this kid develop is like, how is this seizure stop? Because he Hemp blossom.

Nina Simmons:
Yeah, cleanses stop is going to be is gonna be amazing.

Osiris Stephen:
And for the parents that they were going through, your child just hope and hold on and wait for that child to blossom, you know, provide that environment.

Osiris Stephen:
I know it's hard. I know it's not easy. Every day is a challenge how sometimes you forget to take care yourself, let alone each shower, brush and teeth as you go through the day is hard.

Osiris Stephen:
As we reflected on the ideas of our relationship around this horses, a lot of things that we did forget was each other. There's not a lot, but it is a lot. But I think that's one of the major things that we forgot about each other because we made an oath together. Say Aiden's is gonna be our focus. He's going to be totally what we were about, what we want to do and make sure that he's OK sacrificing us. But at the same time, we had to think about, you know, what happens to us, because without us, there's no him. If we're focusing on him, him, him. What's keeping us together was keeping us grounded, and I see us really separating and kind of like falling apart because we didn't make it about us focusing on him is made it about him, him individually and media at that point as a part of in the sense that we work together collectively to get Dena..

Osiris Stephen:
Now, we're at this stage was like, OK, is there a US?

Osiris Stephen:
You know, everyday we question as a, hey, you know, with two roommates, read this one, we're like, we're roommates. Take two others. And truthfully, you like, let's be real. We're roommates right now. There's no real intimacy in the sense of like exchanging both kisses and hey, how are you? Are you two. You did you do this is like me bark orders to each other about what the day's going to look like and that's it.

Nina Simmons:
Yeah. I think for me a lot of the stress just kinda gets to you and you have nothing else left.

Osiris Stephen:
Yeah, no energy, no thought, no emotion.

Nina Simmons:
Yeah, it definitely is rough trying. Did you know when people was a do it all? And it's really about like you're working, you know, living in New York City, everything's expensive. So a lot of times you're really working multiple jobs. Are you at your job working really hard so you can keep it? It has a struggle is a constant struggle. And then the fatigue, then you're exhausted. And, you know, everybody has their individual health issues, whether it's major or minor, minor.

Osiris Stephen:
But it adds up. It can add up. So you just think how much energy can one person push, especially if your name is sleeping at night and sleeping? Oh, my God.

Osiris Stephen:
I think there was a time I recall that no one, even Aiden, was not sleeping.

Osiris Stephen:
We were literally at our wit's end. The fact that you were having nightmares at night distress was getting to so much that it was affecting your sleep.

Osiris Stephen:
Aiden was going through his stage where he was getting up in the middle of night and I couldn't sleep because I don't even know what was going to happen. I had to think about that as I overanalyze it. That's one of my downsides, is that at over allies, everything in it will keep me up and light. It keeps my mind running. And I think we'll use using Cannabis that help me to settle down and allow me to sleep. But I could survive on three, four hours of sleep, memory, my work schedule. I'd get home at 10:00 at night, be in bed by 12:00, be up by 3:00 at Dunkin Donuts at 4am, head to work by 6:00. I would even come back to the house. I'll go straight to work. Hours are rough or rough. You know, a took to a point where you said you had to quit your job because I can't do this anymore in the morning with him, because Aiden was just having a rough time in the morning and was driving her crazy. But I was gone at 4:00, 5:00 in the morning, headed to work. So you were left to get yourself together and get him together while he was going through his mood swings and his seizures by seven, seven thirty to get him ready for school. Those were trying times. Yes. Very, very trying time. So I did I had to make a decision. I quit my job so I can help out.

Nina Simmons:
It was like I forgot about vows that time.

Osiris Stephen:
That was a hard decision for me to make, especially zones, supposedly the breadwinners or the, you know, society says we weren't taking care of the household as let's make all these things.

Osiris Stephen:
You are supposed to do all these things as it laid out the menu, as I call it. It did make that decision was not easy. As a man.

Osiris Stephen:
Yeah. It also wasn't sustainable. There's nothing you can do 10, 10 years, 20 years doing. It wasn't a sustainable job.

Osiris Stephen:
The tab is on. Actually, I think a little of the problem was me with a job is that I put so much into it. It was probably wasn't necessary if I had to create a nice little system structure and get everybody and pay out pays. But the fear of losing that job, losing the income made it so much so that I felt that I had to be there.

Osiris Stephen:
It made me over commit more than they're willing to pay me.

Osiris Stephen:
I didn't want to because I knew that we were dependent on that income. So I overcommitted. So I was married to the job.

Osiris Stephen:
More so then I was married to the family. Why do you think he did that? Why?

Osiris Stephen:
Because I knew that we were one needed the money. Secondly, we live in an expensive place to live in a city. Third, we eat just as a man. You needed to make sure that, hey, I am the breadwinner.

Osiris Stephen:
Secondly, I had to make sure that there was a roof over our head, food in the fridge, and child going to a good school. And then we were able I was able to support my family. So I sacrificed any personal needs that I may have. In order to make sure that I was at that job, because the last thing I wanted to be is on a radar to be fired or to be considered to be fired because as a black male in a predominately white employed job, you sometimes it is when you take a lunch one minute too long. Hey, buddy, you know that lunch was a little too long.

Nina Simmons:
Ok.

Osiris Stephen:
But is this the kind of environment? Sometimes you have to look at it that way.

Nina Simmons:
Rough and violent. I've never worked. I don't know if I'm a slack or lay slacker, but I never felt I'm in a different profession.

Nina Simmons:
Oh, yeah. So I never felt as like. Yes, a lot. You know, I never felt that I had to do that, too.

Nina Simmons:
Maybe better off as being cocky or too laid back. But I never felt that I had to give a hundred and fifty percent.

Nina Simmons:
I got a job just to not get fired. Well, the thing is this.

Osiris Stephen:
For me, it came from even being when in college, when your intelligence is being questioned, your work ethic is being questioned because people are people are picking up things from TV or the media.

Osiris Stephen:
And so they had like we talked in one episode about the prejudice sort of stereotype. You're lazy, you're this and that. And so you feel you have to work twice as hard to prove yourself, to prove your tells us, to prove your ability to do the job and keep the job.

Osiris Stephen:
Yeah. Too. Sometimes to a fault that you're willing to sacrifice your relationship, your family, a just job, basically health get. There was times like where I had sick days I rarely use. If I did, it was because I couldn't even get up. And that was rare.

Nina Simmons:
I never went home. I didn't go to work. And you like how can you go to work? I said, I'm taking a mental health day.

Nina Simmons:
Like, what the hell is that?

Nina Simmons:
I said, put normal. People do call out sick leave at night just to relax. I'm late.

Osiris Stephen:
May I remember? I went to work with a cast. I broke my old foot and I went to work. I'm a. I figure I have work. I think I had surgery and I dealt with the woman two days later. So it's yeah, it's that thing.

Osiris Stephen:
Because I keep in mind that, hey, as long as you're not in control of your own future is some if you depend on the next person to make sure that your future is OK, you always gotta be up and ready to go until you call your own shots. Forget about it. And I think that's why I work so hard to make sure that I put it something in place for aided because of his ailment, because of the situation. I want someone else to tell him what his pictures don't look like, what is going to be laid out before him. And that's on us. So this is different kind of stress. But to go back to the fact that. How we see the world, how we view it and why I did what I did. Now I work so hard is because I wasn't handed a lot of things.

Osiris Stephen:
I've seen the war society hasn't, you know, offer a lot of challenges, even deal with relationships. Sometimes I just like. I'm not going to do this. I've seen some negative sides of relations.

Osiris Stephen:
I've seen the physical aggressions that men can give to a woman. You know, and I don't want that.

Osiris Stephen:
I've seen the emotional abuse, the physical abuse, the media relations that happened, and that is something I didn't want. I don't want. Let me just put this away. I didn't want that. So whenever we got into our situation, I always did. I'm a step back.

Osiris Stephen:
Give you a room, lets you breathe because I'm not going to engage. I'm not going to have you dictate how that's going to happen based on what you do. I'd rather give you the room, let you get it all out, and then when you're ready to talk, we can talk.

Osiris Stephen:
Because as a male, I might, if I see aggression, I'm supposed to naturally go against aggression because, you know, male testosterone or I must fight it is what you want is fight for me. It's like, no, I don't want that. I've seen what's happened and I don't want to live. I am breaking cycles. Nice. I'm breaking cycles.

Nina Simmons:
Was really great. Are you aware that some people it is repeat cycles because they don't acknowledge acknowledge what happened in the past.

Osiris Stephen:
Yeah. And they end up reliving it and we experience it and as they find themselves in places they don't want to be. And that's not me. I don't ever I've been a situation, to be honest, I've been in a couple of relationships where I broke up with young ladies who wanted to I don't know whether it's intentional subconsciously, but they felt that, hey, we're going to get into a fight, physical fight, and you know, and you're going to put your hands on me and then I am going to call the cops or something's going to happen.

Osiris Stephen:
And ad played out CNN. OK. I don't like where this is going.

Osiris Stephen:
And no, this is over lottery that, you know, try to make you jealous. Try to make me into that jealous male only look at them above their game. I'm I'm gonna go home and end the relationship. Look, I don't think it's gonna work between us. It's been a pleasure. We had some great times. Good night. We miss it. That's all, folks. Yeah, exactly. Because there's none of the awful to front of the judge. He said about ten years. Yeah. It's not. And when you think about those things. Yeah. I made some. You know, I'm a be I like I I'm gonna be like I'm an angel. I didn't make any mistakes. I made enough mistakes. No physics to say, you know, I could have an opportunity to make it right and which I'm doing. But I think for us, we haven't gotten to that point. I was listening to a podcast.

Osiris Stephen:
I'm hearing your voice and I'm thinking like, wow, how much you've gone through, how much of the things that you felt you were all alone and that I didn't understand or I didn't hear you.

Osiris Stephen:
And yet you're right. You are right. I didn't hear you. And I think part of me didn't want to.

Osiris Stephen:
And I felt they neglected you in a way, in a sense that all I wanted to hear is my voice and what I wanted and what I felt was right for us, because, again, as a male of the household, these are the things that need to put in place. These are things I want to talk about, whether it's how we spend our money, how we spend our time, how we're gonna take care of our son. These are things a we need to do. Because I've seen that the wrong side of how things go. And so I wanted to implement the way I feel that it should go the right way.

Osiris Stephen:
Plus saying that is the right way. But I've never seen in my life is seeing a partnership.

Osiris Stephen:
Between a father and mother working together, collectively talking about, hey. These are the things that we need to talk about. These are the things that we need to lay out.

Osiris Stephen:
Here's our game plan is how we're going to address certain things as they come up. I think one of the things that I was very happy that we did agree upon is that if neither one of us agreed on a particular issue or something that affected our household, we don't make a decision.

Osiris Stephen:
We don't move on it. Until we're both in agreement of it, then we move forward. But if we weren't in agreements, we don't move on it. We continue. Discuss it. That's one of these.

Nina Simmons:
I appreciate you talking about the partnership, but I know many times you during our time you like you would say I'll be strong. You can do this.

Nina Simmons:
You know, my mom did this and she only Hemp by herself. Yeah. Sago Mine raising four kids is three years longer.

Nina Simmons:
And I think, you know, a lot up.

Nina Simmons:
In the black community, a lot of men who are raised with single moms. That's how they see it. Oh, my mom did this. So they kind of expect their wives to decide to do the same.

Nina Simmons:
Yeah, but think it's everybody, though. Yeah, but the thing is, there are times where you don't know that your mother was probably crying. You don't know. There were times when she was shaking herself to sleep because of fatigue, like eating NASCAR dress. My thing is, why would you want that for your wife?

Osiris Stephen:
Know, the funny thing is that's not funny.

Osiris Stephen:
No, this is all serious. It's ironic.

Osiris Stephen:
Let me to say it because I've seen those moments when my mom would come home and she'd look in the fridge for food and I knew it. There was times a shoe. Come on. She wouldn't eat. And so what I would do, I was like 19 years old. I would put food away that added what I didn't eat. I intensely not eat because I knew she would be looking for it and leave a play for her years old.

Nina Simmons:
So basically, she decided this just wasn't true and she did everything because she had to in that situation she was given. But if you marry, you cannot expect your wife to be at the same level. No, because she's suffering. Why would you want your wife?

Osiris Stephen:
To do the same hardships like that. Well, I suffer. Well, if you look back, I don't think of someone suffering in the sense that you're looking. But I think it's dear, isn't it really suffering? Because it was a decision that was made. She chose to be with the individuals she chose to be with. He is. Is that like some Hayek? You went with this person. You made a decision. You chose to be with the person. But you chose because one, either you were not in a stable position of yourself. That way you can do your own thing. Or the fact that new source of the illness individuals said, hey, this guy is going to give me or provide me the opportunities I need to to be fruitful as a wife, as a mother, as a woman.

Osiris Stephen:
You know, that's why I'm with him. One of those three reasons is why I'm with his individual. Even though there were signs, did you see it like this? It's not the right guy, but something and you said, you know, we do that.

Osiris Stephen:
May excuse excuses for these just things just like that. You know, oil outgrow that. I'll change him to be he'll become a better man or something else.

Osiris Stephen:
And it doesn't happen. It just doesn't happen.

Osiris Stephen:
For some, it does. As for the majority of them, it doesn't happen. What you like, my mother told me. Trust on woman's instinct. Or trust your mother's, trust the mother's instinct. You see it. You know it. You sense it. You do. But as it relates to relationships, a lot of times it's just I guess that is two individuals coming together, making a whole but yet still maintaining their individuality.

Osiris Stephen:
If at any time one person wants to dominate that other individuals space, the relationships over. Because what brought us together was your individuality. Individuals, you have who you are. And so we're just making haves in order to turn into holes.

Osiris Stephen:
But in order for it to be central, we have to maintain those has as they come, the others holes. And that's why I wanted to bring a lot of things to the table in our relationship.

Osiris Stephen:
But there was times where you rejected it because you didn't understand it. At the time, I didn't understand I didn't understand it, in fact, that you didn't understand it. Either was plain English with your life, you want to deal with it. And I was told that none of the three reactions you have was one you rejected. Ignore it or accept it. Rejection was the first thing. And I think and I look back and I see everything that I see, is it going to be a rejection because is it my idea? Or is it? I'm not explaining it. Or was just the fact that you just won't reject ideas that come from me. And that's why when you say why are you taking things so personal is like I had to because I don't know where it's coming from. And the same thing, when you say something, I say you like why you make it personal. Only because I think you're attacking me as I'm attacking back. So as a national defense. As so, we get nowhere but, you know, endless amount of speaking to each other, arguing tantrums, all these other things that go on at the same time. We still gotta manage that. Where he doesn't see it aid and does not see this happening between us. Well, we have to be cordial. Good morning.

Osiris Stephen:
Good morning. Bu, as everybody knows, Artemis sic Alexa could do it for us better with more personality. This is absurd. The fact that we rarely say good morning to each other. What we say is this.

Osiris Stephen:
Are you gonna do this, this, this? And this is like orders. Like we're in the military. It is like orders are given. Now, before we say good morning to each other or to find out who's making coffee was going to get what is his directive. It of dehumanizes. I really should be Yoda, right?

Nina Simmons:
This is a

Osiris Stephen:
I understand it, but it'd be almost nice. Not only it is a chore. Our relationship is a chore.

Osiris Stephen:
Now, who does what? Who was where? Who just, you know, who's left what? You know, it's like Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Your day. Sunday.

Osiris Stephen:
When mothers Sunday to the 30 with split Friday, Saturday.

Osiris Stephen:
We do some combo. And we keep that schedule. But there is no lie. Hey, you are going to go out to dinner together. Are we going to have a date? Oh, shit. Excuse my.

Osiris Stephen:
Holy crap. Have we. What was that? So we had a date night. New Orleans. Two months ago. Yeah. When we first were the first episodes. Yeah.

I think I was one of the first for any Hemp fact that we actually was. He was.

Osiris Stephen:
It was a date night but it was a wedding but was forced because you were contemplating not going because of the storm. Someone said, you know what I think what it was with me. Let that plane go down and going.

Osiris Stephen:
I think I was ready.

Osiris Stephen:
I think I went on a suicide mission to L.A.. It is Jet Blue. Does that cancel my flight? I'm going. The plane's going down. They. Because it's probably better than what I'm going through right now. So I think that's why I said, you know, to hell with them going. Everything is hunky dory deck. We're watching the news on my. I don't care if Jeb Bush does not cancel my flight and they reimburse me.

Osiris Stephen:
I'm going to this wedding and we end up going. We had a great time. Yeah, we did. We did. We actually had a great time. So I guess we got to go to a couple of more hurricanes or, you know, storm to relax. But it's apropos in the sense that, you know, stormy relationships, you know, stormy conditions for people to come together. But that has to be a general interest to do that, to say, hey. Let's talk less.

Osiris Stephen:
This really hash out what is it we're feeling without this sense of fear, animosity, because I think there are times we do have that and personalizing like is a attack going on. This is not I want to attack you as a person. I rather attack the issue at hand.

Osiris Stephen:
And I want you to understand that it's not you I'm going to have to if the issue is the thought process, you as a person is great. But the thought process needs to be discussed is like, where are you getting this from? Because we're not seeing eye to eye or is not solving, is not adding, is I'm benefiting whatever we're going through.

Nina Simmons:
Yeah, I mean, if you hit a low point, hey, look, I don't wanna hit all points, I want you to hit something that I want.

Osiris Stephen:
Figures like lopsided had a comeback. You wanted to take control of this. You made it seem like it was all about you.

Osiris Stephen:
I don't like that, you bitch and moan about all this shit. What that is, is that it was.

Nina Simmons:
So I guess we wanted to recap on each other's podcast, but not only what we did. Yeah. I mean, one of the points that you were saying during your podcast that really resonated with me.

Nina Simmons:
Was the fact that you were hurting and that you feel helpless because you didn't know how to help your family. And, you know, that was you know, that hit me home because I guess if I gave you did something wrong in. So that was a point that resonated with me.

Osiris Stephen:
How did that make you feel, though, when you heard that?

Nina Simmons:
Well, I'm sad that you have to feel that way. And at the same time, I felt the same way, too. I felt like something that I did. That guy, we both had this guilt.

Nina Simmons:
So shared that.

Osiris Stephen:
That's funny that, you know, this is funny. I said it's funny, but it's not. It's interesting that you mentioned that because. We've never mentioned that to each other until now, until we heard the podcast that we did individually. We've never actually sat down and talked to each other and actually expressed the thoughts, the feelings, the emotion, the just all of it like we did in it.

Osiris Stephen:
It's like I think to a certain extent that we were afraid of how that might be acceptable, proceed from each other.

Osiris Stephen:
How does our relation work when you think that is going to look negatively in the other person's? I think.

Nina Simmons:
Has that you know, that isn't what is not exactly their recipe? No, it's not. There's also a new family. Shall we call a lawyer?

Nina Simmons:
And I don't know. Now a shrink, maybe a bit easy when you bottle and both parties have. Gil is one of the worst feelings that you can feel guilty. The worse, it'll rob a rod. I heard. I read. I don't know if I read or someone told me. He said it. Guilt robs the soul. Exactly. So if you both parties are feeling guilt.

Nina Simmons:
You know, you need it. People have to really do something about releasing their guilt. I'm still holding on to a lot of guilt.

Osiris Stephen:
Go over why. But why aren't you sharing that, though? I did. It was in a podcast. Yes, I did. But as I ISIS is more I think you just scratched the surface. I think you're hiding a lot of it.

Nina Simmons:
Maybe I mean, more than I even know myself. So the question is, did when do you let it go?

Nina Simmons:
I don't know. I've tried to let it go, but it is hard and I'm still dealing with it.

Osiris Stephen:
You do it. It's been I mean, with Ada's been my six feet.

Osiris Stephen:
Well, no, four years of his. Him being diagnosed in nine years that we were together.

Osiris Stephen:
And I be honest, sometimes I think that you have some type of underlying animosity towards me. I have to be real because these conversations we have. It'll be some simple. You will literally blow up and lose your kids.

Nina Simmons:
This is what husband has to understand that isn't upset. But I'm saying there is eat toys. Who is we with you guys? You press like basically sometimes. How does become anointing bags a pincushion? Because only with you. You know, I thought about that. I don't really talk to girlfriends like that on the phone. I'm not. Know, I don't. You don't have any body else, really. So you have no other outlet. So they have outlet. And you could say something, which is a good trigger. And it just.

Osiris Stephen:
Here we go. Here comes.

Nina Simmons:
Yeah. With a knife in here, they they have to realize it.

Nina Simmons:
Don't take some of our stuff personally. You going to go cry about this? And keep thinking. Remember women. Sometimes you're not feeling well. Like is this like a giraffe? Like in a man making excuses for women or behavior. But sometimes between the fatigue and the stress and if it hormone the different types of them bump, it is rough and then not getting enough sleep.

Nina Simmons:
Sleep deprived. Hell yeah. I'll bet you no one else is there but you. But you know that. Hope so much that you tell me this now. I mean, you waited nine years. That's fine.

Osiris Stephen:
But the fact that I know now makes things easier because now I know how to conduct myself. When you get to that point, I can deal with it.

Osiris Stephen:
So I can tell my divorce lawyers report that I can call them. They told us that that. Right.

Nina Simmons:
Okay. There was this one girl, Olaf, working at a job. She was to a husband. I was like, whoa hoo. And then one of the other colleges think, oh, no. They have a great relationship. I was like, she's a. Oh, yeah. They had the best sex life.

Nina Simmons:
Like what we're gonna do today.

Nina Simmons:
Oh, cases a year. She does that, but he doesn't take it personally. That clearly would be like doing she would not be able to handle calling him an idiot like oh yeah.

Nina Simmons:
Holy crap. I think the things that I've never seen.

Nina Simmons:
Yeah. Yeah. Not please. She's. What are you reading? What? What? Oh, wow. That's interesting.

Nina Simmons:
And then late on Friday, she said, I can't wait to go home and have sex with my husband.

Osiris Stephen:
Oh, yes.

Osiris Stephen:
That was some nice, let's say, Jack Harrah. I think the ex was maybe having at some Skywalker. Yes. Yeah. That's Skywalker. That's how her brother works. If you haven't tried it, folks, try it. Yeah. It's a Cannabis strat. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Jade, definitely try it. How do I make you feel when you did it? When we said we. I mean, how do you make your body feel in a sense before engaging in too light speed?

Nina Simmons:
No, it's just total relaxation.

Osiris Stephen:
I said it was it a body experience, which is a mental. It's terrible. OK. Was this survey a little spiritual or body experience?

Nina Simmons:
Body is my body here. So you will connect to see felt everything.

Osiris Stephen:
Oh, I just I don't know. Well, they're also now they're. Holy crap. Did you fall asleep? No.

Nina Simmons:
Is it does put you on for like that sleepy mode so it isn't nighttime Cannabis e hearing this sucks.

Osiris Stephen:
You know, there is alinked shit.

Osiris Stephen:
Really? You just lay there?

Nina Simmons:
No, I don't know. I never.

Osiris Stephen:
Oh my God. Oh, my God. Understand? Yeah.

Osiris Stephen & Nina Simmons:
Captain America, I go, oh, shit, it's crusty ego. You know that, right?

Nina Simmons:
I don't remember the decimal. Okay. You making it worse still say anything else. Okay? No. I delete. Do you have any questions for me? No, no, no. We're done yet.

Osiris Stephen:
Because if I ask you another question, I just dig another hole. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Really?

Osiris Stephen:
Do you remember?

Osiris Stephen:
No, my God, no. It's, isn't it? Okay, let's wrap this up. We're we're talking about.

Nina Simmons:
So I hope this was a good episode. I hope you don't think mean has to do it.

Osiris Stephen:
If you're saying hope you're not thinking about the episode, you think about us. I hope it was a great night that night. I hope you remember.

Osiris Stephen:
Hi, folks. Good night. I'm hurting right now.

Osiris Stephen:
I think I'm just going to try something else. Maybe. Oh, gorilla, go for. Yes, cause I'm one sleep.

Osiris Stephen & Nina Simmons:
Ok? Forget this night. Sounds great. Yeah. Yeah. Write you. Thanks for tuning in. Good night. Yo Chan.

Osiris Stephen & Nina Simmons:
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Loud and Cannabis. I mean most Cyrus and we're the proud parents of A and B strong and stay empowered.

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